Wednesday, November 28, 2012

WALKERS HIGH



On the treadmill again, alternating my eyeballs between the monitor tuned to Fox News, ESPN and the occasional attractive middle aged women who happen to cross my field of vision (God I never will learn)!

I'm about 7 weeks into this latest diet and about 6 weeks into the knowledge that my wife wanted to be the next X. 
I joined the local fitness center by my new place of residence and everyday I start my workout with time on the human equivalent of the hamster wheel, the treadmill. 
I started slow and short due to the problems I have been having with my heart and shortness of breath. 

Losing several lbs and exercising every day dramatically improved my breathing and I worked up to doing the hamster wheel for a solid hour at a pretty good clip. 
After I hit the treadmill for an hour I workout with weights for 30 to 60 minutes. 
I have to remind myself that it's ok if I'm working out with weights that are lighter then some of the women there are lifting. My rotator cuff repairs let me know real quick if I am over-doing it. 

The biggest improvement was realized on the treadmill after a couple of weeks of adding minutes and speed until I was able to go an entire hour without falling down with a heart attack. 
Then one day after about 45 minutes of sweating and grunting I noticed my breathing rate slowed and I suddenly felt great. Wait a minute, this is the part of the treadmill workout I should be hitting the wall.
Instead I felt like I had just started the walk. 

That thought took me back in time, I was in my early 20's and I was in the best shape of my life. Considering I was a smoker and party animal back then, that's saying something. 
My exercise regiment consisted of working out hard and heavy with free weights one day, the next day I laid off the weights and went for a long run. 
After 2 miles I would feel the wall right in front of me, I would be gasping for air but I would push on through. 

Then one day as I felt the wall closing in, my breathing rate returned to normal and I closed my mouth and started breathing through my nose like I had just started running. I felt great and it seemed like I could run forever. 
I had heard of "the runners high", but this was my first time feeling the euphoria that comes with it. 
Too bad that feeling and the workout regiment didn't last. 
I eventually gave up the running and the most weight I was lifting after that was the 12 oz curls. 

There would be other sporadic fits of fitness in the intervening years, but I never got another taste of that runners high. 
That is till last week in the gym, never mind that I was walking not running on a treadmill, it still felt damned good. 
The only thing the X said that was true that night when she was laying out all the reasons she was voting me out of tribe was when she said I had put on weight and wasn't being smart about my health. 
I had started my latest diet a week before she laid her bullshit on me.
I'm not doing this for her or because of her, I am doing it for my grandson and my kids and the rest of my family, but mostly for myself.
I've lost 28 lbs and my body is in a lot better condition. I've still got a ways to go, at least 25 more pounds but I feel great achieving my "walkers high".

With feeling really great comes the memory of someone else that said he felt really great. 
He had been a college basketball standout and is the all time NCAA Division 1 scorer. 
He had a good NBA career that was cut short by injuries. 
He still enjoyed playing pick up games and some years after his retirement during a game he was heard saying "I feel great"!
He walked back on the floor and collapsed. 
At the age of 40, Pistol Pete Maravich laid on the floor dead of a heart attack.



Which brings me to this feeling of some angst about "feeling great" after my hour on the hamster wheel and my Walker's High.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!!

I have about 20 half written posts laying in state. It's not that I have nothing to vent, with all the crap that comes with divorce land, I have more to vent than ever. Mount St Helens got nothing on me.
Since my soon to be X flaked out and threw me under the proverbial bus, I can detect the caldera is at maximum pressure with magma building up.
But that can wait, now is the time to give thanks.
I'm thankful that I'm no longer being deceived, ignorance is not always bliss.
Trust but verify, is my new mantra.

I am very thankful for the people in my life I can always count on, family and friends.
Wives come and go, but I always have felt fortunate to have a great family.
I hope this day finds you with similar surroundings.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

RING OF TRUTH






I was driving back from a doctor’s visit when suddenly I saw a gold clad Sphinx waving a cash for gold sign.
I look down in the ashtray and there lay a worthless piece of gold that had cost me dearly, in terms of money and years of my life that were wasted.
A few weeks ago I had slipped it off my finger noting that that would be the last time I would ever make the mistake of letting someone put a band of gold on that finger.
I pulled in the parking lot and went in to see the Pharaoh.
I laid the ring down on the counter and the Pharaoh looked at it with his magnifier and weighed it. I had no idea what he would offer me for this now worthless symbol.
I figured 20 buck?, I didn’t know, I didn’t care, I just wanted it the hell out of my sight.
Do I sound bitter???
I guess maybe I am, when I put that ring on, I made someone a promise.
I kept that promise, I guess the bitterness comes from the knowledge that she didn’t.

I watched the Pharaoh work his magic calculator wondering what number he would conjure up.
I figured it might be worth a pizza or something.
I was surprised when he said $101.00 smackers!
I didn’t remember what we paid for it, I know her engagement ring cost over 1500 bucks.
I told the guy that ring cost me 10’s of thousands of dollars and 10 years of my life.
Then I told him “Sold”!
I watched him take the ring back to the area where it would be melted down to be reformed into a new life. I hoped it would serve the next sucker better than it had me.

Now what to do with my reclaimed life and my reclaimed $101.00?

Maybe buy a supply of Viagra and spin the wheel of mis-fortune once again?
No thanks, dating is one thing, but as far as looking for a serious relationship, I’m good.

I am going to have one hell of a lawyer bill by the time we wrap this divorce thing up, I could just give it to her. Naaa that doesn’t sound like much fun.

Maybe I’ll buy the Viagra and go out on a non-serious date!




Tuesday, October 23, 2012

TEXAS TIMEOUT




Moving out continues and Sunday I got the rest of my clothes from ”her” that were buried in a back closet. Most of these clothes were seldom worn or even seen in recent years. In this pile of clothes were tee shirts from Texas and could not be worn during my most recently failed marriage. She did not like the “Texas” emblazoned on these shirts and especially Austin Texas. These shirts were given to me by a very cute little bartender living in Austin.
X didn't even like it if that state or city ever came up in conversation.
She was the young lady that I had a long distance relationship with for over a year and as it was pre 9/11 flights were cheap and we made many trips back and forth during that time.
I met Carolyn through the Internet due to our common interest in scuba diving.
I fell in love with Austin TX the first time I flew down there to meet her.




We had been communicating on the Internet and phone for a number of weeks and decided to meet in the real world.
It was a risky first semi-blind date, but we decided to give it a shot.
I walked into the terminal and was not disappointed, I just hoped she wouldn’t be either or it would be an awkward vacation.
She was a cute little doll and a little on the wild side, she was perfect for me.
We went to dinner with her daughter and me and Carolyn kept catching each other’s eye.
We found out later that night that neither of us were disappointed in what we saw in person.
I fell in love with Austin before I fell in love with Carolyn, but we eventually did.
I made several trips down there and she made several up here to Indy.
I had a lot of misconceptions about Texas, I thought it was going to be all desert, tumbled weeds and people with twangy accents, and she thought Indiana was all flat farmland and cornfields.
She was amazed at all the woods and forest and the hills of Brown County. Her friends were some of the coolest people I had ever met and they quickly became my friends. It was the most different kind of relationship I had ever had.
It was great, it was like going on a vacation that was going to have some ready-made romance built into the vacation package. And it was nice to have my own personal bartender too.
She knew everyone who ran every restaurant and we got most of our meals comped  She also knew some big wig who owned a fantastic lake house on Travis lake and we spent many nights there for free.



I have many great memories of my time with Carolyn but my greatest memory of her was one particular night at that lake house.
I was a clear Texas night sky and a very warm very strong wind was blowing across the huge lake. We dragged the mattress off the bed and laid it out on the deck that overlooked the beautiful lake. And the bonus was a full moon shining down directly overhead that made the whole night one that could never be reproduced with anyone in anyplace.



We spent the night out there and in my policy of keeping a PG13 rating for my blog, I will just say you have enough information to make the assumption of how much actual sleeping went on that night on that lake house deck.

Eventually the relationship took a more serious turn and there was discussion of one of us taking the big step and moving.
I just couldn’t be that far away from my kids and the rest of my family, I also had a new house to consider what to do with.
She had a very close family down there and she was a proud Texan through and through. She also couldn’t stand the cold weather.
In the end, this was the only relationship in my life that ended for no other reason but for the 1100 hundred miles that kept us apart.
We decided to part friends and give up our long distance romance.
Some time later I started dating my soon to be wife. After I had been seeing her for a while I got a call from my little Texas sweetie, she said she had been missing me and wanted to come up and see me. Things were far enough along with my now x that I told Carolyn I wanted to give my new relationship a chance and reluntly asked her not to come. She understood and in retrospect I regret that decision. Seems like my decision-making regarding relationships has always been suspect.

I have often wondered how she was doing and if she was happy. I would love to just talk with her again.

I went through my clothes this week deciding what to put in storage and what to put in the tee shirt rotation. I am happy to report that the beloved tee shirts given to me by the sexy little Texan bartender made the cut.
I am no longer in Texas timeout.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

MADMEN



Commercial break and most of America goes running to the refrigerator for another beer or the bathroom to get rid of beer. 
Unless the ad men have come up with one of those commercials that keep asses in the seat. 
The ones that keep my ass firmly planted in my Lazyboy  are the Etrade baby, Hardee's (the girls making the pulled pork and hamburger sandwich), the Sandals vacation, but the best one is the commercial for Korean Air. 
 It's the one that has all these giant beautiful people who appear to be 1000 foot tall walking on a bridge in Soeul, dangling their foot in a waterfall in Brazil, a women standing on an overpass in Shanghai and 3 gorgeous flight attendants walking in step at Incheon airport trying not to stomp on the tiny airliners. 
The music is great too.



There are no girls in skimpy bikinis like the Hardee's ad, or cute babies talking like a hip day trader like the ETrade commercial.  
It is just one of most eye pleasing artfully done ads I can think of. And it has my full attention. 



When I see this ad it makes me think of the hit AMC show Madmen. This is what they strive for at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (soon to be Sterling Cooper Draper Campbell), to create an ad campaign like this for their client. 



Of course the computer generated imagery was many decades away for the fictional 60's era drama so ads like this one were not possible. 
But the show Madmen is still the first thing I think of after this commercial is over. 
The second thing I think of is KAL 007 that was shot down by USSR pilot Gennadi Osipovich in 1983 with permission to shoot the airliner granted or ordered from ground command. 
Osipovich and his commanders murdered 269 innocent men women and children in cold-war blood. 
At first the Soviets denied shooting any plane down, when that scam failed they tried to make the case that they shot down a US spy plane, that lie failed so they tried to say that it was a South Korean plane that was on a CIA mission. 
They destroyed evidence of the downed civilian airliner in the Sea of Japan and pretended to search a different area to throw off search and rescue efforts by the US and Korea.  
There was a US Congressman aboard and the Cold War was in its heyday and it was a very tense situation. 
One of the most disgusting aspects of this crime was the so-called Americans who got in bed with the Communist government and tried to blame this mass murder on America.
These traitors were probably the parents of the next generation of scumbags that tried to blame 9/11 on the US     

Only after the fall of the Soviet Union did the evidence hidden by the Communist government see the light of day. 
It only confirmed what intelligent people believed about the incident all along. 
KAL 007 was on-route from New York via Anchorage to Soeul South Korea, flying over the North Pole region and due to pilot error they did not switch the proper navigation system on. This led to the airliner straying over the Soviet airspace of an island that maintained a military installation. 
The flight crew of KAL 007 were totally unaware that they had strayed over Soviet airspace. The Soviet air command were very aware. 
They immediately scrambled jet fighters to intercept the airliner. 

Military pilots are well versed in identifying aircraft types. 
The Boeing 747-230B would have been easily identifiable with the distinctive fuselage, windows, markings and lights. 
 The Soviet pilot said he wagged his wings and fire warning shots but the aircraft refused to acknowledge his warnings. 
Even if the pilot was telling the truth, it was dark and the rounds fired were not tracers, there would be no way for the pilots of KAL 007 to see these warnings. 
The mass murderer in the cockpit could have done many things to de-escalate the event. 
Instead he went for the easy kill and blew the helpless airliner out of the sky. 
I wonder if Gennadi Osipovich ever thinks about the 269 innocent lives he snuffed out that night. 

What can any normal human being think about the pilot who fired that missile and got the easy kill, the ground commanders who ordered the murders, the traitors in this country who accused the US of masterminding this tragedy, the Soviet hierarchy who lied then covered it up, then destroyed the incriminating evidence, then used it for propaganda against the US, 

When I think of these evil people I think again of madmen, But it's madmen with a small "m".

Thursday, September 13, 2012

THE AMAZING FLEXIBLE PRESIDENT




President Gumby: Psssssst, on all these issues, but particularly missile defense, this, this can be solved, but its important to give me space.

Dmitry Medvedev: Yeah, I understand. I understand your message about space. Space is for you.

President Gumby: This is my last election. After my election, I have more flexibility.

Dmitry Medvedev: I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir.

I added the Psssssst. President Gumby didn’t actually say psssssst, he was just talking under his breath to the president of Russia. He was sneaking a secret uncoded message  to Medvedev that he wanted “transmitted” or smuggled to Mr. KGB himself Vladimir Putin.

The left-winged news media labeled President Reagan “ The Teflon President” because all the garbage they threw on him slid right off.
The left-winged news media have done everything in its power to spray President Gumby down with Scotchguard. President Gumby’s secret message to Putin, via Medveded, would have been played on an endless loop had a Republican pulled that crap.

This lack of media interest in Gumby’s open mic treachery, is but just one small blot of a much larger stain on journalism.
Yesterday, the media itself became news after reporters fell victim to the open mic and verified what most of us already knew.
Seems a room full of so-called journalists were plotting to play “gotcha” on Mitt Romney yesterday.
The media from different news organizations were caught on an open mic conspiring together trying to frame the debate of Romney’s criticism of President Gumby’s mini apology tour to the murderers of our diplomats in Libya.




They wanted to take the heat off their President and make Romney go on the defensive by attacking him for pointing out President Gumby’s failure in his handling of foreign affairs.

The media’s behavior is not news to most of us, but it is disgusting, nonetheless.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

THE NEW NORMAL (repost)

I had gotten up early that morning to take mom and her friend to the airport to catch a flight to Vegas. I lived only 15 minutes from Indianapolis International airport, which made it convenient for family that lived out of town to stay with me the night before catching a flight. Living that close to the airport also has some very noisy drawbacks. Namely the UPS runway choice at 4:00 am launching heavily loaded cargo jets at one-minute intervals directly over my roof. This is where my habit of having a fan blowing directly in my face while sleeping came in handy, still it doesn’t block out the noise completely.
Although it was a workday I was still able to make the airport run for the gamblers because my license had been suspended due to a screw-up with the BMV and an old ticket that never got mailed to the right place. I called the prosecutors office and she promised she would straighten it out ASAP. I didn’t want to take a chance driving the company van so I told my supervisor about the situation and took time off work.
When I got back home from the airport, it was still early so I went back to bed for a bit. I woke a short time later and turned on the Bob & Tom radio show. Expecting their usual laughter and comedy bits instead Tom Griswold was talking in a very serious tone about something that had just happened in New York.
 Through my fog and without the benefit of my morning coffee I tried to comprehend why he was so sullen. Something about an airliner that had crashed into the World Trade center. How the hell could a pilot not see that building I wondered? I turned on one of the network morning shows; they were showing both towers and franticly talking about a second aircraft that had just crashed into the other WTC! My suspicions immediately went to the Middle east, with all the red hot anger and hatred that far surpassed the emotions I had been experiencing during my recent very ugly divorce.

I got out of bed and tried to comprehend this unfolding nightmare, next on the list was the Pentagon, "damn how big was this terrorist operation?" Thoughts of my mom on a plane brought fear into the emotional mix along with the rage and hatred I was already feeling. The next event, flight 93 bravely diverted into the ground by the hero’s who revolted against the murderous cowards. How many planes do these scumbags have control of?
 I had been not been able to reach mom, could they have her plane too? I sat there and kept waiting for the next jetliner to fall out of the sky. Seemingly hours later I finally heard from mom. She related what happened to her flight; somewhere between Albuquerque and Las Vegas the pilot announced, “due to a national emergency they were being ordered to land at the nearest airport”. The plane made a u-turn and landed at Albuquerque where the Red Cross met them. This is where they would spend the next couple of days during the ground stop.
I broke down and bawled like a baby during our conversation. Relieved that mom wasn’t on a plane with a bunch of radical islamics heading toward another target I got back to the TV coverage of the carnage and my rage! I had been trying to contact my then girlfriend who lived in Austin TX; she had a flight scheduled to Indy on the next day for a visit. She worked nights, as a bartender so contacting her in other than her “vampire hours” was next to impossible. Early that afternoon she finally called me back, extremely upset and pissed off as was 99% of the population of our country. She told me she was glad George Bush was president because she knew he would kick somebody’s ass over this. I was shocked to hear that from her, she was no fan of President Bush for sure, her love for Slick Willie and the democratic party made for some heated debates between us, but she was really cute and ran a bar in Austin, what more could a guy ask for? Here she was, a staunch democrat backing President Bush as was most of the country.

I spent the rest of that week watching the TV coverage until I couldn’t stand it any longer then I would go outside only to look up at the clear blue sky and get another dagger through the heart by not seeing even one plane or contrail as I looked up.
 Later that day I was outside talking to a neighbor, we looked up and flying as high as possible was a large jet aircraft with another smaller aircraft flying at it’s wing heading northeast. I realized it had to be Air force One and a fighter chase plane.

 Next came the hoarding panic with gasoline. I heard some mindless profiteers were gouging at the gas pumps. Even though ny drivers license was suspended, we had a Meijer at the edge of our community so I drove there for a tank of gas only to see they had jacked up their price by 45 cents since that morning.
That was small potato’s compared to a north side gas station ran by a middle eastern man who jacked up his gas by about 3 dollars a gallon. Fortunately that little act of greed caused a lot of negative press and they were subsequently ran out of business later. The owner then had a mysterious fire with the owner suspected of pulling an insurance job.
I didn’t hear from the prosecutor that was going to help me with my suspended license for the next several days, I guess everybody had different priorities other than handling my insignificant problem. So I sat at home most for the next 11 days during the worst unpaid vacation of my life alternately watching the news reports until I felt too depressed to watch anymore so I would go outside until I couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on anymore so back to the TV again for another dose of depression. Most memorable was coverage of Palestinians in the streets cheering for the barbarians who murdered thousands of innocent men women and children.

The country for the most part rallied together, flags were flying everywhere, fit men and women were joining the military and were ready for the fight. Patriotism was surging, unfortunately Hollywood and the network news organizations didn’t get the memo. Statements made by three elites stand out in my mind a decade later. First from the late not so great Canadian Peter Jennings, using a tragic event of this magnitude to spout his left winged venom criticized President for not being immediately on site and comfort us with a speech he went on to say “Well, some presidents are just better at it than others
Secondly some female apologist for the PLO, on a news program responding to someone who rightly called the terrorist, cowards, her take on it was they were great warriors who gave their life for what they believed in. She didn’t mention that one of these so-called warriors had so bravely slashed the throat of a flight attendant while her hands were tied behind her back. She never mentioned that they murdered innocent unarmed people or that one of the motives of these terrorist were the seventy-two virgins these losers were supposed to get when die.



 And thirdly was a statement by John Mellencamp, he was on the Bob & Tom show after president Bush made that moving speech to congress. Bob & Tom no bastion of conservatism, had been remarking how great the speech was. When Mellencamp came on the program they asked him if he liked the speech. His reply was “ well I’m a peacenik so I didn’t like what he said” he went on to say how we need to understand the causes that made these people do something like this. Come on Johnny Cougar give me a fricking break!



There were some of the usual blame America first crowd, running their mouth, but for the most part the states were united.
 Unfortunately patriotism for some is a fleeting thing, ten years later I am amazed how short some peoples memory are. The new normal has taken hold and we live with body scans at the airport, close call unsuccessful terrorist attacks on our soil and some that are successful. The new normal means almost daily body counts of the brave Americans fighting over seas to keep these lunatics over seas and away from us.

My personal new normal was mostly trying to deal with the hatred and rage that was burning inside me. I found out that drinking doesn’t help extinguish these emotions, other methods were needed. I wish I could say that I didn't have to find that out the hard way.
I had to find a real secure little cage in a dark basement to lock most of these feelings away where they now reside with the anger and hate left over from my divorce. I hate to hate, it goes against my spiritual beliefs and it eats away at you from the inside. Not to say that those monsters in the basement don’t try to sneak out from time to time. It’s a constant battle to keep these things down there where it’s safer. I do this so I can function in the new normal and not spew hatred at all muslims. I also keep the divorce demons down there for the sake and sanity of me and my kids and my soon to be grandson. I don’t know how the family’s that lost loved ones that day do it. My heart goes out to them, God only knows how they deal with the pain, I’m sure a lot of them don’t do it so well and it doesn’t help when they continually get slapped in the face with things like the “Ground Zero mosque”.

Ten years later, I no longer live on the approach of UPS’s runway. I’m happily remarried to a pretty young lady (not the Texas bartender). Mom’s still going strong and keeping the local casino’s solvent. I have great kids and a grandson on the way (he's here now) that I can’t wait to spoil. A few aches, pains, bumps and bruises but overall I am really happy with my life.

A couple of days after it all began and the ground stop had been lifted, we all went to pick up mom and her friend at the airport. There were hugs and tears all around; the ever-resourceful gamblers had found a local Indian reservation casino to donate to while stuck in Albuquerque.
Thinking back to the day when the planes got back in the air. Later that night standing in the backyard watching all the aircraft back in their familiar flight patterns I began to feel a little more normal. Not the same normal I was on 9/10/2001, but the new normal that we all are almost ten years later.
 Later that night, like clockwork at 4:00 am the UPS payloads were just above my roof once again, engines spooled all the way up and straining against gravity. I knew I wouldn’t feel this way forever, but tonight it was music to my ears.


Don't tread on us bitches!


P.S.  hey Bin Laden, are you wondering where those 72 virgins are and why Heaven is so hot?



U.S. Special Forces pay bin laden a visit

Sunday, September 2, 2012

LOVE HURTS



Wednesday, a day of fast, not for religious reasons, not for lack of food in the house. No it was for the procedure. 
The procedure that every heterosexual male dreads. 

 I was able to eat some J.E.L.L.O.  and some broth. 
Problem is, I'm a carnivore, my body craves meat like a vampire craves blood. 
After 12 hours of meat depravation my sense of smell becomes as keen as a polar bear coming out of hibernation. I swear I could smell the ham salad through the refrigerator door. 
But that's not the worst part of the whole deal. The worst part is the prep which consists of Dulcolax pills and Miralax  powder that you have to mix with either Gatorade or Propel. 

The name Propel seemed like a fitting choice for this operation so I bought a 6 pack of the grape the week before.  Problem was I couldn't keep Jojo out of my Propel even after I told her to stay out of it. 
I ended up having to restock when she was out of town, so I mixed up the toxic powder into 4 bottles of the Propel and prepared for the worst.
 I thought what a waste, if the procedure would have been the week before when I had the stomach flu I would have been way ahead of the game. 

So I put the 4 bottles of spiked Grape Propel back in the fridge and waited for Miralax time.
Chugging half of a bottle of Grape Pooppel at timed intervals I kept reminding myself that the prep procedure has evolved greatly since my first one some 20 years ago. 
But it's still not much fun, by the time I got 3 bottles of Pooppel down I felt the desired results had been achieved so I left the last bottle in the fridge. 
All went as well as can be expected except for one near miss early on in the festivities. 

I had prepared the half-bath off our bedroom with all the accoutrements for an extended stay. 
All had been going well, then while standing in the living room and without warning I felt like I got hit with a Chernobyl reactor core meltdown. I literally went screaming through the house with every muscle in my body clenched for all they were worth.
After that, I tuned in the Republican National Convention on the TV in the bedroom and did not leave the perimeter of the bathroom for several hours. 

Jojo was out of town so my bro- in-law Rita's husband Bob took me to the hospital the next morning. 
Knowing Bob's sense of humor I knew I would be in for a great deal of mirth and merriment on the way to the hospital due to the nature of my procedure. He did not disappoint. 
When they wheeled me to the O.R. I looked on the table, there was a long black snake with a steering wheel on it. 
There was a radio playing softly in there and I immediately recognized the tune. It was Naserath's Love Hurts. I said "you know, I really don't think that's an appropriate song for what I'm about to go through. 
The doctor and nurses cracked up and the doc said "at least it's better than Another One Bites The Dust". 
Good point doc!
They got ready to slip me into Wonderland, they don't usually knock you out for this deal. They use Versed, pronounced (Ver said), it's kind of a legal date-rape drug, usually you have little to no memory of the procedure. 
I told the nurse with the hypo "don't be stingy with the pixie dust, this is one memory I don't want to savor. 
They obliged, the next thing I remember was the sight of Bob's big grin. Everything came out alright and I left the place with one less thing then when I got there. 

When I got home I saw the left over bottle of Pooppel in the fridge. That began a long struggle between my good side and my dark side that had me envisioning Jojo grabbing what she thinks is my Propel and chugging it down. I tell you for hours that day, I had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other,  weighing the pros and cons of this plausible deniability. 
She was still out of town and the whole thing would look like just a silly accident that we could all laugh about some day. Yeah but how long would it take for that day to arrive? You see my quandary. 
In the end I appealed to what Lincoln called "the better angels of our nature". Or it just may have been what Shakespeare's Falstaff  meant when he said "Discretion is the better part of valor". 
Whatever it was,  it ended with me pouring the Poopel down the drain with a devilish grin imagining what might have been. 

Monday, August 27, 2012

WHO'S FAULT WILL IT BE ?

If Hurricane Isaac wreaks destruction on New Orleans will it be Obamas fault, or will President Bush be held responsible for that one too?

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

WISH YOU WERE HERE



This week I am going to make the 2 hour drive heading south from Indy to southern Indiana.
Jojo is going out of town for work and I need to go see moms. I'm still off work on the injured reserved list so I just need to weave my way through all the doctor visits and physical therapy and get down there. I like that my immediate family all live in Indiana, but we are split between the Northerners and the Southerners.

The Southerners start at Loogootee and wind through Jasper and end up all the way down to the far south west corner of Indiana to Evansville.
Us Northerners begin at Bargersville, through Greenwood, jog over to Indy's west side, through Indy's Eastside and wind up in Greenfield.
I was born in Southern Indiana and we spent a fair amount of time down there as kids. Back then we had family in Loogootee, French Lick and Newton Stewart. Little towns separated not by many miles but by a lot of hills and winding roads.

When I hear the Pink Floyd song Wish You Were Here, it always pulls my mind back down that way, especially Newton Stewart.
The song itself has no memory provoking power.
It's that small part at the beginning of the song that starts the time machine.
The song begins with a radio playing in the background as some unnamed guitar player (David Gilmour) is tuning through the stations searching for a song he can play along with on a 12 string.
It's this one weak station he is trying to pull in that you can here the heterodyne whine you used to hear a lot back in the days of analog tuners that reminds me of trips to Loogootee, or French Lick or Newton Stewart.
The sound that dads car radio made trying to pull in stations that were too far away.

But mostly it pulls my rapidly diminishing memory to the old  portable shortwave radio that used to sit in the General store that my grandparents owned in Newton Stewart.
Seems to me like it usually sat next to the post office section of the store right under a huge map of the proposed Patoka Reservoir that now engulfs that tiny nook of Americana.
my minds eye can still  see that radio that was always turned down so low even a young whippersnapper like me could barely hear it, but I remember that heterodyne whine whistling over some weak radio station, I see my uncle Kenneth sitting there by it, it was his radio.

He was a history school teacher at French Lick and still lived with grandma and grandpa and he minded the store quite a bit.
He was one of my favorite people down there.
It was a huge family and the number grandkids at one time may have reached 30 some. So we were pretty much lost in the shuffle and ignored, but not by Uncle Kenneth.
Seems like he had a nickname for all of us and he is the one that gave Rita of An Ordinary Life fame the moniker "Annie Bob".
He always called me "Mark Clark".
I didn't know then who the hell Mark Clark was but I liked it when Uncle Kenneth called me that. "Well, Mark Clark!", is how he always greeted me.

The other thing I remember about Uncle Kenneth was the he was afraid of the dark, I think he always slept with the light on.
I still have an image of him sleeping on the couch with the lamp on and the shortwave radio sitting there on the table next to him turned way down.

Uncle Kenneth was single till he was 57 years old. He finally got married and moved away.
A little over a week later he dropped dead with a heart attack.
Seems like Uncle Kenneth should have feared marriage more than he feared sleeping in the dark.

That all was decades ago.
These days I can't remember what I did last week.
But it's that shortwave radio that I see and I hear and that distant radio station playing and the sound of the heterodyne whine oscillating over the melody of some long ago forgotten hillbilly tune that is still crystal clear in my memory.


I will be playing that Pink Floyd song when I get down that way like I always do because I like that song and that tiny sliver of yesterday it brings me back to.


I like that song so much that I'm tempted to tell my family that I want it played at my funeral, but it seems like that might be in bad taste.
But I do have a dark sense of humor.
It might be humorous to have people standing around looking at my dead carcass laying there in my coffin with while they play "Wish You Were Here".





Monday, August 20, 2012

PHOTO I. D. REQUIRED, THOSE RACIST BASTARDS !!!




I went to pick up my repaired center speaker for my new Blu ray surround system from Best Buy today.
Imagine my shock and dismay when I read this sign on the counter where you return, exchange or send out for repair electronic equipment.




Best Buy actually requires a photo I.D. to make these transactions.
This is pure hate and discrimination of the poor, the elderly, blacks, illegal aliens and probably gays too.
I mean how does Best Buy expect the downtrodden and the disenfranchised to return or replace their stereos, home theaters, auto mega amps, or God forbid their 55” LCD 3D flat screen TVs?

Where is the outrage ?????
Where is Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow Coalition ?????
Where is Al Sharpton ?????
Where is Eric Holder and the Dept. of Justice ?????



Thursday, August 16, 2012

HETEROPHOBE GOES ON SHOOTING RAMPAGE




Heterophobe, Floyd Lee Corkins II with possible ties to pro-gay promoter and hate-group The Southern Poverty Law Center went on a shooting rampage injuring several people at the Family Research Center Wednesday.
It is widely believe that this attack was deliberately spurred by pro-gay and left-wing organizations and their main method to induce these murderous attacks is through their use of calling their opponents names such as, hate-groups, homophobes, mean-spirited, na na na na na and aboo boo.

There have been many calls for these pro-gay and left-wing groups to turn down the rhetoric and stop being such meanies.
If these groups continue to escalate the name-calling further steps may be necessary and someone may have to tell their mommies.

Monday, August 13, 2012

FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE

He Said She Said


HATE IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE. 
At least that is what was on the bumper sticker I saw years ago. When I read it I though to myself "no shit Sherlock". Of course the intent of that bumper sticker was to infer that all the family value groups were evil hateful people because they hold traditional values. 

The words racism and hate are two words whose meaning have been perverted over the years. The left uses these words as a weapon in an attempt to demonize those they disagree with into submission. In many cases it works. No one wants to be considered a racist or hateful or part of a hate-group. 

You want to know what a real hate group looks like?      
Try the Westboro Church that protest at the burial sights of our fallen heroes. Listen to cult leader Louis Farrkahn and his minions of the Black Muslims. How about the Obama protected New Black Party members who have cart blonch to practice voter intimidation. Or Obama's friend and adviser and former pastor the so-called Reverend Wright and his cult. Neo-Nazi Party, KKK, all the White Supremacist groups. 
Those are hate groups! Do you really want to dilute the evilness of those groups by lumping the in with organizations who only want to hold on to a tiny piece of what they believe in the only thing they have left of a traditional family value?
Christians have been abused by the left and gay groups for years. Churches have been attacked, services interrupted and in general people who hold onto even a tiny slice of family values are fair game for abuse. 

With all that said here is my 2 cents. 
Last Wednesday I had a chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A. Does that make me a homophobe? Does that make me a hateful bigot?

If any of my friends or family "came out", it would not affect my relationship or my affection for that person. Would I celebrate that revelation? No, but I would still want them to feel comfortable around me, my kids and my grandkids. I would want to maintain that relationship as before. 
Do I believe it is sin? Yes I do and so is being a drunkard and a fornicator and I've done my share of both. The bible list these things along with a whole host of other fun stuff as sinful and as far as I know we haven't gotten any new memos saying different. 
I have heard many gay churches and groups even try to promote the idea that Jesus was gay. They point to the fact that Jesus didn't come out and specifically preach against it. 
Well Jesus was never quoted preaching against beastiality either, does that mean he was cool with dating your (fill in your favorite pet).
But their main source for this theory is the verse 13:23 from the Book of John which says "Now the was one leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples whom Jesus loved". 
In the original Greek there are many words used for love depending of the kind of love your talking about. The Greek word "Eros", is the word used in the bible to describe a romantic or sexual love. The word used in John 13:23 was "agape/agapoa" which is a platonic love of God for humans or humans love for God.

Having said all that, it probably is obvious that I do not support same sex marriage. Does that mean I hate gays? Am I a hate group of one?
The company I work for requires me to "Value Diversity", not just accept it, not just tolerate it, I must "Value" it. 
I always held the view that we were all Americans, we are all equal, we are all the same regardless of race creed or color. 
The left want us divided up and Balkanized. 
I don't hate gays, I don't pretend to understand that lifestyle, but I don't think anyone has the right bully, harass, or harm them. 
And I don't believe the left has any right to bully, harass or harm people who express my viewpoint on the matter. 

Take this thing to its logical conclusion. If the federal government mandates that states must allow same sex marriage, then what if a an adult wants to marry his dog, or his goat, or his big screen TV?
If you allow that, don't you dilute the entire idea of what a marriage is? Doesn't it make a mockery of that institution? 
On the other hand what if the left, or gays say no we can't have that, we have to draw the line somewhere. Doesn't that make them hypocrites? Wouldn't they become the hate group that they love to hate?

Of course if I become an Islamic, then "I KILL YOU!"

As a survivor of 2 divorces, I am only looking out for your best interest.
Your better off staying single.
You'll thank me later.

To get the she said click http://ihavearighttospeaktoo.blogspot.com/

Friday, August 10, 2012

OBAMA IS A MURDERER



The parents of Brian Terry need to make a campaign commercial. 
They could look into the camera and say the following. 

"Barack Obama murdered our son. He and Eric Holder sold guns to Mexican drug gangs and shortly after that, Obama and Holder arranged the murder of hundreds of Mexican civilians and our son. 
He doesn't care that he murdered our son. "

Why doesn't some PAC run this spot?
It is so much closer to the truth than that guy who lied his ass off in that spot that was green lit by Obama and his henchmen. 
Yeah, I'm sorry that woman died of cancer, but that does not give that jackass an excuse to get on camera and tell all those lies. 
Sorry but being a widower does not give you an exemption from being labeled a lying jackass if you actually are one. 
Am I being too harsh?
Oh well, I guess I'm just one of those hateful chicken eaters. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

DON'T TREAD ON ME, OR MY CHICKEN !

Cops directing traffic at my local Chick-fil-A


I have been planning to write a post on my views on same sex marriage for some time. At the risk of being called a hateful bigot or worse, I went to my local Chick-fil-A and braved the huge crowd to get my chicken samich.
 The CEO of this company is being attacked by the leftists for holding the same view as Louis Farrakhan holds. Check that, Farrakhan would just as soon burn them at the stake and that doesn't stop Rahm Emanuel from kissing his ass every chance he gets. Obama was opposed to gay marriage till just a few months ago when he decided to whore himself out for a few more votes. I will expand on this subject in another post.
For the record, I don't hate gays.
I do hate when that four letter word is misused as is the word "racist".
Most of the time when people misuse those two words they are reflecting the hatred and racism in their own heart.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I CAN'T GET OVER IT

I just can't let this go. I still pisses me off that Eric Holder under the direction of King Obama, refused to prosecute the New Black Party members who flagrantly committed voter intimidation, but is suing states that are trying to stop voter fraud i.e. Voter ID law.  Suing some border states for protecting their own borders while The D.O.J. armed the drug cartels through Fast And Furious and was responsible for the murder of Brian Terry and hundreds of Mexican citizens. And now Holder and Obama are committing more crimes by trying to cover the whole thing up.  The Department Of Justice headed by radical Eric Holder is but one of many departments that is being grossly misused by the Obama Regime.   The Department Of Education and the EPA are running amok as well.  This gross misuse of power by Obama effectively diminishes the Legislative branch of the government.  If you think Obama is bad now, just imagine what he will try to get away with if he gets 4 more years in office. As he told the president of Russia under his breath, "I will be more flexible after the election".  President Gumby will be more flexible with Russia???  For reals??? I know another thing President Gumby will be more flexible with.  The Constitution !   

Friday, July 20, 2012

SAME OLD STORY SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE MY FRIEND



It didnt take the idiots in the leftist media long to try and pin the terrible shooting in CO on the Tea Party, only problem was the Jim Holmes of the Tea Party they fingered was in his 50's and the shooter was 24. Great job Brian Ross and George Stephanopoulos. 
These assholes never learn! The left did the same thing when Gabby Gifford and the others were shot and tried to blame it on the Tea Party and Sarah Palin.
To take such a horrible event and try to make political hay out of it is despicable. Never mind the fact that a reporter is supposed to just report the news, not shape the news, not color the news, not be the news.
This is the same media who drip with admiration for the Wall Street Occupiers which has as members many looters, murderers, rapists, and general riff raff.


The left once again has had their collective pants pulled down. They have shown their ass, again.
They pull shit like this, but want to sweep Fast and Furious along with the murder of Brian Terry under the Oval Office rug.

 The innocent Jim Holmes has had to disconnect his phone because of all the death threats he was getting. I wonder if the Tea Party is responsible for that too ???

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

TRUE COLORS


LESS



Obama showed his true colors last week during his attack on business owners.
That color was not black.
That color was not white.
That color was red.

Much speculation has been going on about Obama’s ties to and beliefs in Socialism/Marxism since he brought his dirty Chicago politics to Washington.
His association with admitted Socialist/Marxist is well documented so no need to run down the list of enemies of the American Dream again.

If there were any doubters before, if they heard his rant from his campaign speech in Roanoke VA on Saturday, then they should come to an obvious conclusion, (if they don’t have their head so far up his ass that they can’t hear anything).

Here is just a snippet of his verbal manifesto:

“If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that,” Obama told the crowd. “Somebody else made that happen.”
President Obama said successful Americans did not become successful on their own — they had help.
“If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own,” he said. “You didn’t get there on your own.”

Now a good liberal will say (in a whiny pissy voice), “you took that out of context, he just wants the rich to pay their fair share”.

Well, watch the whole speech, it only gets worse.
From the sound of the crowd, he was preaching to his choir getting a bunch of “uh huh, that’s right, yeah , yes!’, from the envious masses.

His final solution to rid America of the last vestiges of the evil capitalists is in full swing, dividing a nation and fomenting hate and class envy.

Obama’s crowd was in full agreement that even though they never devoted their life to build a business, risk their finances, risk failure, give up their free time and actually make jobs possible for other people. The crowd feels by virtue of their perceive needs they are entitled to the fruits of others labor.
After all, they cannot be expected to commit that sort of effort into a business venture, it would interfere too much with party time.

Hopefully this admission of guilt by Obama will be noticed by the undecided. As for the people with their heads up Obama’s ass, it will make no difference. Hell, they want the country ran that way, they will continue to sell their votes to Obama and Obama will continue to sell ammunition to the enemy.

If it walks like a Marxist, if it talks like a Marxist, if it smells like a Marxist, if it attacks freedom like a Marxist guess what?
Obama is a Marxist!
Many democrats are cringing over this admission of guilt by Obama.

He can’t help it, that’s his true color.


Saturday, July 14, 2012

WITH OR WITHOUT AIR

Got a text last night (July 6th) about 10:00 PM from my renter while I was laying in the fishing shed.  "Hi Mark are you still out of town?" Shit! This ain't gonna be good.  "yeah" I wrote back, "what's wrong?" " Well we have the air turned down to 69 and it's 81 in here". Damn, I would kill to be in 81 degree air right now. We picked a great week to spend at the lake with in our little austere cabin.  It was over 94 in there and that wasn't a dry heat either.  The heat had been pretty tolerable until late Thursday and on Friday I was having a tough time of it.

 We we're going to stay till Sunday but the humidity creeped up and that makes all the difference. Like I needed to say that. Can you believe there are still people that say when discussing the hot weather "you know it's not the heat it's the humidity".  No shit Sherlock!



  We left at 3:00, I took the picture when we headed up I 65.  I know car thermometers aren't the most accurate, but suffice it to say its hot!  Earlier in the week most days we had a nice breeze and the water was clear and cool.


 When you got out of the water it felt chilly, then you look at the thermometer and it reads 102 and you think, you know it's not the heat it's the humidity. When the humidity is that low the water molecules want to leap off your sexy bronze-god like body.  When that happens a "change of state" occurs and going from a liquid state to a vapor state heat is absorbed.  That's a nice little function for the human body when there's room between the air molecules for more water molecules to sneak into.  Hey I learned something in heating and air training anyway.
  I had just checked out the AC at the rental before my 2 week hiatus, 1 week in Fort Meyers and 1 week down here at the lake. It was working fine then and probably still is.  HVAC systems aren't or at least shouldn't be set up to keep you at 70 degrees when temps are in the high 90's much less this many days of 100 plus temps.  If a HVAC system has that much cooling power when it's that hot then it wouldn't run long enough to dehumidify your house.  And as you know, you know it's not the heat it's the humidity". I had this conversation with more than 1 customer and the response ranges from a look of disbelief to a wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Not every home is the same, I will be happy with 75 today. My rental though has no shade and CP Morgan went with the smallest AC units they could get by with.


July 14th
  Anyway that all happened during the 4th vacation down at the lake. I never got around to finishing the brilliant point I was trying to make, but since I'm stuck here in the car waiting for Jojo to finish her "ten minute shopping" for a dress I thought I would get rid of this disjointed post.  I'm bored so what the hell. I didn't proof it, who the hell cares about the pointless rumblings of a mad man any how.  Have a great weekend.
  P S. I hate Kohl's !

Friday, July 6, 2012

ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY



Make that seventh biting and way past shy now.
 I had been bitten 6 times by dogs, 5 times it was on the job.  The bites all occurred on the property where the dog lived.  Sunday we were down at our lake property where we would  be spending the whole week.  


My stepson brought his almost 2 year old German Shepard.  My almost 20 years of working in other peoples homes has pretty much turned me off from wanting pets these days. I know this opinion has me at odds with most other people but let me take a bite out of you 5 or 6 times and see how long you want to keep me around.  Anyway I was fine with the dog being here I just tried to keep a little distance and hope he didn't want to shove his snout up my ass as dogs are want to do.
  We had all been having a great time and me and the dog were getting on fine, sans nose up the arse for the whole day.  Late in the day the dog was lying on the ground in front of our fishing shed/cabin. I walked by him unaccosted to get to the cooler where the Rocky Mountain goodness is kept, I walked out of the shed and all hell broke loose.


  The 85 pound German Shepard barked and leaped at me with the wailing and gnashing of teeth. I was wailing and the dog was the one doing all the gnashing.  He nailed me on the thigh and took me down like a (I need a good simile here, feel free to add your own).  He took me downtown and continued to try and gnaw on my thigh. I had a beer in my good hand and my right shoulder is still in recovery mode from rotator cuff surgery  With both hands unavailable,  I was defenseless. Finally I was rescued by my stepson, I laid on the ground covered in dirt and let out a big "W T F ! ? ! ????" I was still in my swimming trunks which didn't offer much in the way of protection, but I still lucked out and managed to only get a pretty nasty bruise from the dogs teeth.  No punctures and luckily I fell on my good shoulder  [well comparatively good] and spared my rotator cuff repair.


  The dog was taken to time out and I resisted the tremendous urge to walk back in the shed and trade my beer in for my 9mm or my 38special. So I jumped in the lake to wash the dirt off and to cool off.  Jojo walked down to the dock to check on me, I said "and people wonder why I don't love their fuckin pets!" So now the count is up to 7. I have been bitten worse, much worse. One of the bites I received on the job was by a German Shepard that would have made 2 of this dog. And he got me good, that dog got me in the same place and with one bite he put 8 deep punctures wounds and a bruise about 7 inches in diameter on my thigh.  But this time was the first time I have been chomped on my own land.  I thought back to the bites I got while at work and everyone of those dog owners told me that I was the first person that the dog has ever bitten, like I brought it on myself.  And even if a dog doesn't bite you they can still be a pain in the ass.  I can't tell you haw many customers have told me "oh he won't bother you he just like to jump on people, or he just want to smell you".  Ok what qualifies as bothering me then? Having your dog hump my leg, or shove his nose up my ass?
  I was laying in some women's floor trying to fix her refrigerator with her big dumbass dog jumping all over me and trying to date me. This went on for a good while with the lady watching me and I kept expecting her to deal with her damned dog, she didn't  do a thing. I ask her if she could please put the dog up as it was making it very difficult to finish the repair.  The lady took the dog away and she was pissed that I refused to mate with her mutt. She acted like I was the rude one.  A had another customer whose dog bit HER while I was there. It was a smaller breed not too sure what kind. It was kind of a mutty poodle looking thing.  I arrive on the call and this older lady was holding a very spastic mutt in her arms doing everything she can to keep the dog from jumping out of her arms.  She shows me to the kitchen where I would be repairing her refrigerator. The fricking dog is by this time going postal and the old lady throws the damned thing out the back door.
 About 2 seconds later Cujo jumps through the screen of the kitchen window and heads for the repairman.  I'm looking through my bag of tricks to see what tool might serve as an instrument of horror for a dog. I do a quick inventory of my tool bag, lets see, multimeter? nix, sling psychrometer? nix, nut driver set? nix, razor knife? bingo!   Before I could bring any weapon to bear, the old lady had deftly corralled the beast.  Cujo hellbent on biting someone turned on the hand that feeds it and promptly chomped the old lady's hand.  Now I'm not talking about a nip, or even a little love nibble.  I'm talking full on gator chomp I'm going to the ER later to tend to this wound kind of bite. She put Cujo in the physc ward of the house and I finished the repair glad she got nailed and not me.
 Well , it's her damned dog!  A few months later I got a furnace call at the same house. Oh boy, here we go! I get to the door and sure enough the old lady greets me holding Cujo. The dog is going spastic again. The old lady doesn't remember I'm the same tech that watched her dog make a meal out of her hand just a few short months ago.  "Oh don't worry come on in, he doesn't bite." That's when I lost my professionalism and said, "Bullshit lady, last time I was here he bit you!" "Oh I mean he doesn't bite other people,  he just bites me"  {My eyes roll to the back of my head}.  "Ok ma'am, I will be in to fix your furnace just as soon as you put Cujo in lockdown".
 My stepson knew it was was past time to do something with his overly aggressive dog. So the day after he bit me, he took him to a local vet down here and had his nuts chopped off. The dogs nuts that is.  They stopped by here on their way to take the dog back home. With the dog securely locked in the car I couldn't resist a smile and told the dog "see that's how it works when your on my territory,  you bite this old dog and you lose your balls" "grrrrrr ruff ruff" was his reply.


  Seems like someone lost his sense of humor along with his nuts. Heh heh heh.


  And it's not just dogs that have attacked me. When I lived out in the country I drove down the road a piece to talk with a buddy, I was there long enough for it to turn from dusk to pitch dark. I was heading back home and his stupid cat had become a stowaway in the back seat unbeknownst to me.
  Well the cat got it in its head that he was being kidnapped or catniped or what ever and the little bastard leaped onto my shoulder and started wailing on my head and face with its claws. I'm trying to keep the car on the road and fight off whatever the hell was trying to scratch my eyeballs out.  I had no idea what had ahold of me and I had no idea how it happen to be in my car and I had no idea why the hell this thing was so pissed off at me.  I finally grabbed the thing by one of its 30 legs and flung the demon creature out the window and let out a big WTFJH ? ! ? ! ?       WTFWT ? ! ? ! ? I understand how attached people get to their pets, I have had pets years ago and grew up with cats and dogs and I got very attached to some of those animals.  It's just that I'm to a point now with getting accosted and bit over the years, I just don't want to deal with it anymore.


  Does that make me a bad guy? The answer is yes, to many cat and dog lovers I am a bad guy. But hey this is a free country, well it used to be.  I'm not the Obama administration though, I don't want the Government to interfere with your right to have pets just because I'm over the pet thing. I just don't want to be bit anymore, or nose-raped, or thigh-raped by any dog.  I'm up to 7 now on the bite count and enough is enough. I'm done, I'm over it, I don't  want any of it any more, please! Dog and cat lovers of the world, tell you pets to stop biting me, I mean them no harm. I don't deserve this treatment. I have never bit any of them......... Uhhhhh wait a minute.  Cue the wavy scene breakup and harp music indicating a memory flashback.
  Ok there was a reported incident some 55 years ago when I was still a crawler.  I don't remember the event but it was related to me over the years that way back when, I was watching a bug crawl on the floor, well they didn't have electronic baby toys back then. Anyway as I sat there fixated on this amazing bug our dog casually comes by and slurps up the bug. Then I did what comes naturally when a baby has its toy taken away. I bit the dog.  If this incident actually occurred then I will admit maybe I over-reacted a little and I apologize to the long gone dog.
 Hell I apologize to all dogkind!
 Could I be a victim of some type of dog karma?


 Damn, I never thought of that.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

GOD'S WAITING ROOM


Disclaimer: Bobby is sleeping and not looking at that beach babe


That's what some call the state of Florida due to the number of old people who move to Florida after they retire and spend the remainder of life here on Earth.  Me and Bob (hubby of Ordinary Life's Rita), have been hanging out at Fort Myers beach all week and with the shocking Supreme Courts decision on socialized medicine I have been trying to envision what an Obama America would be like. Specifically his government run healthcare.

  Much as been made of Sarah Palin's reference to "Death Panels" that will be needed to make decisions regarding who will be deemed worthy to receive treatment in a medical rationed system.  The left mocked her relentlessly for using that term but deep down in that dark little cubby hole of their brain they, we all know such decision makers will be needed.  The term "Death Panel" is such an ugly phrase.  I think something like say, "End Of Life Engineers",  has a nice little ring to it. It's a marketing thing you see, kind of like like calling the dismemberment of pre-born babies, "Reproductive Rights".   As I whiled away the hours looking at the surf and the sand and all the other old geezers, I had a moment of clarity.  An old 70's movie Logan's Run, came to mind.
 
The basic premise was a futuristic society that didn't allow the population to get old and sick.
When you reached the age of 30 you had to go to "Carousel" and hope for "renewal". In the carousel room the ceiling would rotate and the 30 year olds would float up in the air and one by one their bodies would get zapped and disappear.  The hope was if you had faith in the system,  your essence would be renewed in a new birth. Of course no one knew if  A carouselee made renewal or not.  The protagonist of the film was Logan 6, a "Sandman" whose job was to chase down "runners". A runner was someone approaching 30 who did not have faith in the system and in lieu of going for renewal decided to make a run for it.  Runners were hunted down by the Sandman and terminated with extreme prejudice.  With that plot summery in mind here is my idea of Obama's brave new world.
  Florida is annexed by Obamacare and renamed "Carousel". When a person reaches the age of 50, instead of getting all that AARP bullshit in the mail, the End of Life Engineers send you a one way airline ticket to the state of Carousel where you spend your remaining days playing golf and shuffleboard and searching for the best early bird special. But no hip replacements,  no Walmart 90 day prescription clubs, no arthritis pain relief formulas, no healthcare.
 And if you feel the need to holler "I've fallen and can't get up!" don't reach for your Life Alert, your ass is stayin down.

  In the movie Logan's Run the government was able to lead the people to Carousel like sheep to the slaughter house with the promise that if they just had faith in the system they could hope for Renewal.  Logan 6 found out that no one had ever made Renewal, it was all a big hoax just to get people to get out of the way and end up in certain death so as not to overburden the system.  In Obama's horror flick,  he will lead all the old geezers to the state of Carousel (formally Florida) with the ever allusive possibility that if you just have enough faith in the system, if you just go along with the program,  you just may luck out and scrape up a few crumbs of Obamacare.
Yeah, good luck with your Renewal efforts and good luck with that Hoax And Chains. 

One advantage for obamas  Sandmen, they won't have any trouble rounding up any Runners down here.  It will just be a matter of catching up to them as they try to make their getaway on their Hoverounds.