I had thrown our half a loaf of moldy bread and a full pack of moldy buns the day before. Seems like we never get through a whole loaf anymore before it goes bad.
Since I had my hands full and I was on the move I thought I would try Talk To Text, on my Samsung Galaxy S4 so I hit the Google mic button and said "text Mike I got bread and buns today".
I looked down at the phone and it was waiting for me to hit the send button, but when I looked at what Google thought I said I saw:
"I got raid and scones today"
Ok talk to text fail number 1:
I repeat into the Google mic once more, this time enunciating more clearly this time.
"I got bread and buns today" Galaxy S4 awaiting my approval I look down at the screen and saw,
"I got brakes and gnomes today"
Aww shit! Now it's a quest and a pissing contest between me Samsung and Google.
I have a love hate relationship with modern technology, on one hand I spend a lot of time at the lake in a Ted Kaczynski sized fishing shed.
I Like getting into the whole nature scene and living a scaled back and off the grid life down there with my 12 volt battery and gravity fed water systems.
On the flip side, this year I have added insulation, gas heater, solar panels and I now have my own Wifi hotspot through my new Verizon powered Samsung Galaxy S4 so I can use my IPad.
Kaczynski's rambling manifesto excoriated society's dependence on technology and he went on a long mail order terrorist tirade to make his "point".
Unabomber not-withstanding I have no digital ax to grind. I do see us all losing some of our human interaction to the 1's and 0's, or the 5 volts, 0 volts that make up our new form of communication however.
I mean not just the kids, I'm talking about us oldsters, my brother and sisters and even moms!
We will travel the dozens or hundred plus miles from all parts of Indiana and come together and sit there in a room with all of us peering into the warm glow of our collective IPads for crying out loud!
Oh well, I guess that's what we call progress isn't it?
Back to my story and the somewhat rambling point of all this, I tried one last time to "talk to text" even though I knew it would have been time saving to just call my brother or unleash my nimble thumbs and hand type the message that I clearly spoke, using my best mid-western accent, emphasizing the b's of bread and buns.
"I got bread and buns today!"
I looked down at the Googles interpretation and read:
"I got breast implants today"
Awwwww fuck it !