I BLEW OUT MY FLIP FLOP

I was in no danger of stepping on a pop top however so I soldiered on to the beach with Bob and all our beach equipment. 
Then I hobbled to the nearest beach store to look for a replacement pair. I had brought my most comfortable pair from home and I knew I wouldn't be able to find some that I liked as much as these. 
After looking at several fifty dollar flip flops I gave up and went to the 7-11 and got some Krazy Glue. Problem solved. 

Friday when I got to the condo I put my tennis shoes in the garage and vowed they would not touch my feet until I was getting ready to head back home. 

We spend most of yesterday on the fishing boat, we caught our share and the weather was beautiful. 
So back on the beach today me and Bob are once again on thong patrol. We haven't spotted any female offenders yet but we have seen a lot of guys wearing bikini bottoms. That just doesn't do it for me. There are a lot of foreign vacationers here and all the dudes from those other countries wear those speedos. Not a good look. 
I decided to eat my lunch so I took out my samich. She was a beauty, ham, salami, pepper loaf, pepper jack cheese and mayo. 
Now for the finishing touch, open up the samich and insert a bunch of tater chips. 
As I began munching, I started to attract a crowd, Seagulls. First one then the word got out and it looked like a Hitchcock movie, they were all around me and hovering over my head. Seem Seagulls likes chips in their samich too. I hadn't gotten half of it eaten yet when one of them distracted me and his buddy swooped in over my right shoulder and took a big chomp of my samich. I threw my best shot at the offending bird. A straight right hand that missed wildly. It was time for the second half of my combination, an uppercut swear word " you sombitch!" that hit him cleanly. 
I looked down at my bird chomped samich wondering where that nasty beak had been before it had touched my inch thick of cold cuts, cheeze n chips and I put it back in the bag and threw it in the cooler cursing the rest of the clan gathered around me I got up and began kicking at them. I had always had a deal with these damn birds, I would walk around them and try not to disturb them when they were sitting on the beach and they would let me eat in peace.
 The deals off !      Sumbitches !