Monday, November 28, 2011

ATTENTION: THE INTERCHANGE FROM I 65 SOUTH TO I 465 EAST IN INDIANAPOLIS HAS BEEN BOMBED WITH LIVE TURKEYS!


(Film at 11:00)

The other day Rita of An Ordinary Life had a great post from the 80’s sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. That clip from the Thanksgiving themed episode where Mr. Carlson threw live turkeys out of a helicopter, as a station promotion is one of the all time greats.
I got a good laugh watching that clip several times on her blog and reading all the comments.
So here’s the thing, on my way home from work just less than 30 minutes ago, when I got to that exchange in the interstate, I saw a strange object just ahead sitting partially on the ramp. The synapse were firing in my brain trying to conjure some sort of recognition pattern in the object. I kept staring at the object as I got closer and closer and tried to make some sense out of what looked like a very haggard critter.
I finally got so close my brain could no longer deny what my eyes were clearly seeing.
It was a domestic turkey, not a frozen Butterball or even a thawed Butterball. It was a complete turkey, feet, feathers, neck, head and giblets all intact. And it was alive!
It was just sitting there facing the rush hour traffic as if it were waiting for some good Samaritan to stop and offer it a lift.
I know some may think of Indiana as one big cornfield, but it’s not all farmland out here, there was no farm anywhere close that this rogue bird could have escaped from. Judging from the looks of this guy he had been having a rough time.
Half of his white feathers were missing and he didn’t look too frisky. It looked like he had been in on the losing end of a pecking-party.

Other than someone re-enacting that scene from WKRP, I am hard pressed to offer a theory as to how the hell he got there and what his plan was.
Maybe there was an overage of turkeys and he was one of the lucky ones whose presence was not needed on some family’s table this year
.
Maybe last week, he figured the jig was up and jumped out of a turkey death camp transport truck and he was still on the lam.

It is possible some miscreant purposely ditched the poor bird on the interstate due to his apparent low quality.

However, I don’t believe this last theory has any merit, as there were no signs of fowl play.
Sorry I couldn’t resist.





3 comments:

Rita said...

Think I found what happened to your turkey, he ended up in a suit standing next to Michelle on USA Weekly.

THINGS YOU'D NEVER GUESS ABOUT ME said...

I'm a misplaced Hoosier who have an immense love for animals left stranded on the road. But for the life of me, I would have had NO idea what to do with a turkey in the road. Hopefully, one of Obama's homeless and hungry victims found it and had supper.

CnC said...

Beau's Mom, It must have gotten loose from a truck I guess, maybe some of the O.W.ers could eat it, course they probably dont understand that food doesnt just magically appear on mom's table