GLOBAL WATERING WORSENS

DATELINE INDIANAPOLIS: MASSIVE RAIN CAUSES TRAFFIC HEADACHES AND MORE. OBAMA LOWERING OF SEA LEVELS HAS UNSETTLING CONSEQUENCES.  MAJORITIES AND MEN EXPECTED TO BE HARDEST HIT.

The Obama administration denied culpability even though he promised to lower sea levels if elected.
Professor Ignad Pervis Dailey of the State Science Institute reported:
" What the president failed to realize when he chose to alter the natural functions of the planet is: that water has to go somewhere.
Predictably, the ocean waters backed up and was re-absorbed into the clouds which dumped huge quantities of rain on the Midwest.

"I have been doing my own research on obama-made global watering since Obama was sworn in. At first my rain gauges did not yield the expected results; however when I relocated the rain gauges under my gutter downspouts and started watering my lawn I was shocked at the data I was getting and discovered the problem was much worse than I suspected."

Prof. Seymour Whitey, head of Caucasian studies at the University of Idaho surmised that " of course caucasians, because of there domination of the population percentage will experience much more hardship due to Global Watering, also because caucasians enjoy outdoor activities such as, golf and flea markets they are disproportionately affected in a negative way".

Professor Peter Hung who heads up the Men’s Studies department at that same university weighed in on the subject of Obama-made Global Watering by stating:
"Men are unfairly singled out by this phenomenon through the activity of lawn care. The problem is two-fold; not only does the increased rain cause the grass to grow much faster, it also makes it more difficult to find good weather in which to mow the grass.
There has been a startling increase in men suffering from chlorophyll induced depression and an inability to make car-washing decisions.

On his chart called " The Hockey Puck graph by Prof. Daily, I.P. as he is called by close friends.
"The hockey puck" clearly correlates the increased flooding in the Midwest with Obama getting sworn in and proceeding to hold back and even lowering the sea levels.
Even though the science is incontrovertible there are still many Global Watering deniers out there. Many scientists believe that we should begin with the indoctrination of children at a very young age with grade school curriculum devoted to the problem of Global Watering and even controlling what kind of TV programming they are allowed to watch".

Actor Randy Quaid testified at a congressional hearing last week. The hearing was convened to study this problem and Quaid was asked to testify because he appeared in the movie Hard Rain.
Quaid delivered his expertise in true Hollywood fashion by blaming his recent run-ins with the law and his reported bizarre behavior, on the sea level/rain cloud imbalance.

He summed up the his expert analysis on this dire problem by saying "I think President Obama is the greatest president in history and I voted for him, but his position on this matter makes me think he's all wet".
Quad then went on to say that he had to leave because he could feel alien worms crawling out of his butt.