HE SAID, SHE SAID # 3
A typical Saturday night at the town’s watering hole. Two drunken patrons come flying out through the swinging saloon doors with fists flying. One of the swinging door had exceeded its maximum rating and went sailing off its hinges. The two men hit the ground with a thud, neither man drew a their gun, but on the ground next to them lay a firearm dropped by one of them. The man on top was slugging the other man for all he was worth and decided that the other guys head was just too hard to keep pounding so he put his hands around his throat and did his best to choke the life out of him while saying, “I’m gonna kill you, you sonofabitch!”
No this was not 1875, it was more like 1975. It was not the wild,wild west, it was the mid-west. It was not a Colt Peacemaker on the ground, it was a Ruger automatic. These were not two drunken cowboys. They were just two drunks, unfortunately I just happen to be one of them and it was my gun that fell out and I was the guy choking the hell out of the other guy.
Bar room brawls were fairly common at the Benchmark and being in my early 20's and full of piss and vinegar I found myself smack-dab in the middle of too many of them. So the fact that I should find myself in a brawl on a Saturday night was fairly routine. What was not routine was that a good portion of my family was on the other side of the swinging doors when we came crashing through.
The Benchmark was sectioned off in the bar area where the combatants were and a dining area where my unsuspecting family was at enjoying a nice peaceful dinner.
Although I had my share of battles there I never started any of them, well unless you count the time when I had to defend the honor of a barmaid I was dating who wasn't actually honorable.
But this was not that time, this fight was started and the first punch thrown by the other guy, the bar's most obnoxious drunk.
I don't remember why I was on the other side of the wall from my family that night, seems like I just went over there to have a drink with a buddy who also had a knack for being in the middle of any shitstorm in the area. I guess that was because Wormy usually was the instigator of most of the shitstorms.
Taking into account the fog of war and the fog of my alcohol I will attempt to recount that nights events.
Seems like Wormy and The Mouth were sniping back and forth, I may have said something or nother to The Mouth where upon he called me a "punk".
I then said "hey asshole, I got your punk hangin" and then I grabbed a part of my anatomy to show him approximately where I thought his punk would be located.
That's when The Mouth punched me in the nose. I really didn't feel the punch, but it did really piss me off. At that point I wasn't thinking about behaving myself because my family was in the other room, or that I might get barred from the Benchmark for fighting or that I had an illegal gun in my belt. All I was thinking was "I'm gonna kill this M F!".
I think the first punch The Mouth got in was his last, I didn't win every fight at the Benchmark, but I was damn sure gonna win this one. So with tables upended and beers spilling and fist flying we eventually ended up crashing through the old fashion western styled swinging doors in full view of my siblings and their spouses.
Them not being regulars at the Benchmark they were caught off guard especially when they saw that their brother was one of the combatants. It didn't help the situation when the my handgun fell to the floor beside us.
While they were trying to break up the fight, my older sister hyperventilated and dropped to the floor. My little sister Rita thought it wise to ditch the gun in a nearby trashcan. Luckily Wormy stopped her and took charge of the gun, you see, I was buying the gun off him and I had not yet paid for it so Wormy had a vested interest in saving the handgun from the landfill.
The handgun in question was most likely hot, it was not registered and at that time I did not have a permit to carry. That night could have turned out a lot worse than it did. I have learned many lessons the hard way in the intervening years since. Probably the most important lesson is the negative aspects of mixing alcohol and gun powder. Neither me or The Mouth reached for the gun or that could have been a life-changing event. I was no a bad ass, I just thought I was 10 foot tall and bullet proof back then.
I wish I could say that I wised up after that night, but the truth is, it was several more years and several more scuffles before I saw the light.
You would have thought that making a complete ass out of myself in front of my family would have been enough to make me change my ways.
I guess back then my family more or less expected that out of me and I guess I just took it upon my self to not disappoint them.
Bar room brawls were fairly common at the Benchmark and being in my early 20's and full of piss and vinegar I found myself smack-dab in the middle of too many of them. So the fact that I should find myself in a brawl on a Saturday night was fairly routine. What was not routine was that a good portion of my family was on the other side of the swinging doors when we came crashing through.
The Benchmark was sectioned off in the bar area where the combatants were and a dining area where my unsuspecting family was at enjoying a nice peaceful dinner.
Although I had my share of battles there I never started any of them, well unless you count the time when I had to defend the honor of a barmaid I was dating who wasn't actually honorable.
But this was not that time, this fight was started and the first punch thrown by the other guy, the bar's most obnoxious drunk.
I don't remember why I was on the other side of the wall from my family that night, seems like I just went over there to have a drink with a buddy who also had a knack for being in the middle of any shitstorm in the area. I guess that was because Wormy usually was the instigator of most of the shitstorms.
Taking into account the fog of war and the fog of my alcohol I will attempt to recount that nights events.
Seems like Wormy and The Mouth were sniping back and forth, I may have said something or nother to The Mouth where upon he called me a "punk".
I then said "hey asshole, I got your punk hangin" and then I grabbed a part of my anatomy to show him approximately where I thought his punk would be located.
That's when The Mouth punched me in the nose. I really didn't feel the punch, but it did really piss me off. At that point I wasn't thinking about behaving myself because my family was in the other room, or that I might get barred from the Benchmark for fighting or that I had an illegal gun in my belt. All I was thinking was "I'm gonna kill this M F!".
I think the first punch The Mouth got in was his last, I didn't win every fight at the Benchmark, but I was damn sure gonna win this one. So with tables upended and beers spilling and fist flying we eventually ended up crashing through the old fashion western styled swinging doors in full view of my siblings and their spouses.
Them not being regulars at the Benchmark they were caught off guard especially when they saw that their brother was one of the combatants. It didn't help the situation when the my handgun fell to the floor beside us.
While they were trying to break up the fight, my older sister hyperventilated and dropped to the floor. My little sister Rita thought it wise to ditch the gun in a nearby trashcan. Luckily Wormy stopped her and took charge of the gun, you see, I was buying the gun off him and I had not yet paid for it so Wormy had a vested interest in saving the handgun from the landfill.
The handgun in question was most likely hot, it was not registered and at that time I did not have a permit to carry. That night could have turned out a lot worse than it did. I have learned many lessons the hard way in the intervening years since. Probably the most important lesson is the negative aspects of mixing alcohol and gun powder. Neither me or The Mouth reached for the gun or that could have been a life-changing event. I was no a bad ass, I just thought I was 10 foot tall and bullet proof back then.
You would have thought that making a complete ass out of myself in front of my family would have been enough to make me change my ways.
I guess back then my family more or less expected that out of me and I guess I just took it upon my self to not disappoint them.
One day I woke up and chose a different path, I thank God and my family for that decision and there are a couple of other people I need to thank too!
To check out the She said version go to Ordinary Life, she may have a slightly different take on that night.
7 comments:
Ha. You can make it sound all macho if you want, but you and the other idiot did nothing but hug each other on the floor. I had to turn my head in case you decided to start kissing.
I fly folks with additional perforations in 'em as a result of this scenario often.
Job security, I think it's called.
Rita he was not the cute! and G.B. your right, booze and guns are a bad mix
My mom always said God watches out for drunks and idiots...
I think you guys had it pretty much covered. lol
But, you're right. Guns and alcohol are a no go and always should be.
cjh
CJ and GB: Now you understand why I was such a good child. There was no slot on the black sheep side of the family left to fill.
And GB: He was lucky he walked away without any extra perforations. No, not from the gun, but from my shoe I wanted to kick up his ..... Well, you get the idea.
baahaaahaa I couldnt remember why you guys were on the family side of the bar till now, it was cause you were too little!
Post a Comment