DOCTOR NO

IT'S ALIVE !!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!

Back from the abyss and have been chomping at the bit to write. So much so that I have been boring the hell out of someone with my Rumblings through email one at a time. So now I thought I would get back on here and bore all of you! All nine or ten of you.
Lets see where was I? Oh yeah spewing venom and bitterness from the vent. I deleted the last post As Bad As it Can Get, it has served its purpose. Update, the divorce is final and went as smooth as the maiden voyage of the Titanic. We have no more entanglements or reason to ever have any more contact and that's the way I want it.
On a positive note, I am leaving for Italy on Thursday. My final checkmark to mark the end of this saga of my life. This divorce like the last had to be chopped up into smaller pieces or tasks so as not to overload my circuits and cause me to go postal.
I mentally checked them off one at a time. The last checkmark is to reward myself for surviving this divorce from hell without the use of a hit man.
The X did everything she could to make this divorce as difficult and painful and hateful as she possibly could. I will try to ween myself off the drug of bitterness in my newer posts, this road I have traveled these last 8 months have been paved with angst so bear (is it bear or bare, I forgot, I looked it up once) bare bear with me and I promise that I will emerge my happy go lucky self once again. My outlook is really great! Through a series of misfortunes and serendipity I was able to retire while I'm still young enough to enjoy my waning years.In the last 8 months I have also improved my health enough so that I may live long enough to piss some x wives off!
While recovering from the accidents and all the operations I had gained a lot of weight. In 8 months I have lost 55 lbs, I keep reaching my goal weight only to set the bar lower and lower. I haven't been this thin in many decades. I feel great though I will always have to deal with problems from the wreck. I still get blurred and double vision when I look too far right or left, when I take my walks or stand too long my back kills me. I am restricted to a 20 lbs maximum overhead lift and still have occasional bouts of dizziness after a workout.

The back issue is the most troubling because it was never addressed after the wreck. The surgeon who did my cervical spinal fusion on two levels assured my that the back problem was reactive to the two ruptured discs in my neck. He said once the neck was repaired it would take care of the back issue as well.
After months of rehab for the neck and rotator cuff surgeries my back still gave me much grief. I remember my last checkup with, I'll call him Doctor No, because I kept asking him to MRI my mid back and he kept telling me No!Anyway I went to see Doctor No one last time and I told him my back was still giving me hell. Guess what he said.
"Well your back problem doesn't have anything to do with you neck" ??!!???
Huh? I had signed a document giving this hack permission to strap me down to a table, administer a date rape drug, slash the front of my throat wide open like Jack The Ripper, slide my esophagus over, take a set of Craftsman looking tools and grind and cut and gouge out 2 little worn out shock absorbers, jam two pieces of some dead guys, or gals bones in the gaping sections of neck vertebrae, run a Black and Decker cordless drill microns from my spinal cord and fuse 3 vertebrae together with a Titanium plate and now he tells me that my neck repair has nothing to do with my back problem?!?!
Damn that was one long sentence huh? But you get my point right? This guy told me for months that if I allowed him to earn 40 grand my neck and back would be good as, not new but not in agony.You know what I told him? Yeah you guessed it, I didn't say a damn thing, I just walked out of his office, my brain reeling. I should have dropped his ass, or at least told him what a quack and liar he was. Instead I slinked out trying to wrap my brain around what just occurred. I should have gotten clued in the first post-op visit when he had a side view and front view X-ray taken. When he pulled up the front view, I looked at it and the damn titanium plate holding my neck bones together was crooked as hell!He saw it too and quickly got it off the computer screen to show the side view. Post-op visits after that only had side view X-rays taken.
Hmmm, what do you think? Something's amiss? Months later I wanted to take it up with him and demand answers.Fast forward, to last October, I'm living with Mikey at the shelter, Mikes Halfway House For Battered Xhusbands lol, we are taking care of our cousin who is slowly dying in the bedroom next to where I sleep, or at least try to sleep.I am sleeping on the floor of Mikes computer room on a mattress that is shoved half way under a computer desk. I'm laying there one night still in disbelief of the turn my life has taken, still hurting from the betrayal by someone I thought I knew.My phone makes the you have a message ding. I pick it up and see its from Doc Todd. Doc is a personal friend and also my doctor. The message from Doc read "Doctor No axed himself. Wow. Stay strong."
I laid there in my little dormer bed trying to adjust the focal point of my IPhone. Surely I misread this, no glasses handy I read it over and over trying to see a different message.
No I would not get the satisfaction of grilling Doctor No.Seems I was not the only other human on the planet in divorce hell.There was at least one other person in the world going through his own personnel hell. A spinal surgeon going through the same thing I was couldn't see past the Petition For Dissolution Of Marriage order, the trips to the court, the endless visits to the lawyers office, the endless forms to fill out, the possessions to list and all the small details that that lawyers dwell on as Don Henley sings of in End Of Innocence. Doctor No will never see what I'm seeing now. I can see that I am so much better off without this person in my life. This person did me a huge favor. If Doctor No would have toughed it out just a little longer, long enough to emerge from the haunted woods where lions and tigers and bears lurked, oh my!Lightweight !Hell I'm an old pro at this stuff, lawyers come to me and ask for advise.
Italy is just the beginning, Key West is waiting and so is my dive gear, hiking Yellowstone is on the horizon. Flying lessons and someday my pilots license, something I've always wanted to do.I still think about Doctor No, the guy who had his scalpel a whisper away from my spinal cord, the man who couldn't see past an ugly tomorrow, the guy who put a gun against his head a blew apart a million dollar brain.When I pass through this life I'm gonna look up Doctor No, I want to ask him if he still thinks she was worth it. Then I'm gonna ask him why my damn back still hurts!