Some funny moments I have seen in years past popped into my cobwebbed memory the other day and I thought I should put them down on electronic paper while I still have some of my faculties left.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
This Buds For You:
Back in the 70's we frequented a bar called the Benchmark Inn. Many crazy things occurred at this establishment, this perticular evening was my buddy Joe's (AKA Animal), night to shine. He got himself severly overserved, there were many empty mugs in front of him. He gets that look in his bleary eyes and you could tell he was gonna try for a refund on the beer. He leans over the table and I gave him plenty of room, I knew this would not be pretty.
What happened next was amazing. Joe was transformed before my very eyes into a human tapper. He expertly slid an empty mug under his mouth and filled the mug with just the right amount of beer and with a perfect head. He then slid another mug over and repeated the process. By now he not only had an audience, he had a cheering section.
After his third mug was filled the keg went dry.
Joe was so careful with his money we expected he would try to re-drink the recycled beers, as far as I can recall that didn't happen, but that would be the version that would be repeated for years to come.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
YOU TUBE OF THE MIND PART 3
Some funny moments I have seen in years past popped into my cobwebbed memory the other day and I thought I should put them down on electronic paper while I still have some of my faculties left.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
King Of The Road:
Back in the mid-80's I was heading south on SR 37 in the fast lane doing a little better than the speed limit when some asshole road rager flies up behind me like he was king of the road. I was going to get over, but before I could this idiot climbs on my bumper and starts waving me over even though the lane next to us was clear. Ok, now we are just going to have to play who owns this lane. I just ignored him and let him simmer.
He finally got the picture and sped around me in the other lane. We exchanged one finger pleasantries as the asshole went by, then I pulled over into the slow lane and watched him put the hammer down and and dissappear around the bend. A few seconds later my radar detector went off, I looked up ahead and saw a State cop coming the other direction. The cop took a u-turn behind me and passed me in no time. I little ways down the road, I came up to the stopped cop car and his prey. Yeah you guessed it, there he was, the king of the road was pulled over about to get a ticket and about to get a little salt rubbed into his fresh wound, I laid on the horn, laughed and gave him a one finger salute.
I just drove on down the highway, the new king of the road.
Oh yeah, it's good to be the king!
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
King Of The Road:
Back in the mid-80's I was heading south on SR 37 in the fast lane doing a little better than the speed limit when some asshole road rager flies up behind me like he was king of the road. I was going to get over, but before I could this idiot climbs on my bumper and starts waving me over even though the lane next to us was clear. Ok, now we are just going to have to play who owns this lane. I just ignored him and let him simmer.
He finally got the picture and sped around me in the other lane. We exchanged one finger pleasantries as the asshole went by, then I pulled over into the slow lane and watched him put the hammer down and and dissappear around the bend. A few seconds later my radar detector went off, I looked up ahead and saw a State cop coming the other direction. The cop took a u-turn behind me and passed me in no time. I little ways down the road, I came up to the stopped cop car and his prey. Yeah you guessed it, there he was, the king of the road was pulled over about to get a ticket and about to get a little salt rubbed into his fresh wound, I laid on the horn, laughed and gave him a one finger salute.
I just drove on down the highway, the new king of the road.
Oh yeah, it's good to be the king!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
YOU TUBE OF THE MIND PART 2
Some funny moments I have seen in years past popped into my cobwebbed memory the other day and I thought I should put them down on electronic paper while I still have some of my faculties left.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
This happened at a family get together at mom's house maybe 5 or 6 years ago. Me and my brother's grandson Kyle were horsing around. Kyle was trying to get back at me and he was chasing me around the living room. He must have had a cold or something because he kinda snorted and laughed at the same time. As I was looking at him two long snot rockets shot out and just hung off his nose extending from both nostrils at least 10 inches straight down. Without missing a beat, Kyle gave a big reverse snort and retracted both snot tentacles in perfect unison back into his snout and continued running after me. I was laughing so hard I couldn't evade snot rocket boy any longer. My nephew Brian who was the only other witness to the event was laying on the couch trying to resume breathing again without much luck. He was sobbing with laughter and tears for several minutes. I was just glad that someone else had witnessed this amazing stunt.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
Snot Rocket boy:
This happened at a family get together at mom's house maybe 5 or 6 years ago. Me and my brother's grandson Kyle were horsing around. Kyle was trying to get back at me and he was chasing me around the living room. He must have had a cold or something because he kinda snorted and laughed at the same time. As I was looking at him two long snot rockets shot out and just hung off his nose extending from both nostrils at least 10 inches straight down. Without missing a beat, Kyle gave a big reverse snort and retracted both snot tentacles in perfect unison back into his snout and continued running after me. I was laughing so hard I couldn't evade snot rocket boy any longer. My nephew Brian who was the only other witness to the event was laying on the couch trying to resume breathing again without much luck. He was sobbing with laughter and tears for several minutes. I was just glad that someone else had witnessed this amazing stunt.
As for Kyle, he was nonplussed; it was truly grace under pressure on his part, but he was Cool Hand Luke about the whole thing.
He showed me then and there that he was a guy you want on your side in a sticky situation.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
YOU TUBE OF THE MIND PART 1.
Some funny moments I have seen in years past popped into my cobwebbed memory the other day and I thought I should put them down on electronic paper while I still have some of my faculties left.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
My Kinda Gal At The County Fair:
Johnson County fair, maybe late 70's. I was going through the Sheriff's exhibit, he had a coke can with a bud of pot on the top. He had it burning so people could smell it. Some girl in her early 20's walks up to the table the deputy was standing behind. She leans in as if she wants to find out how Marihuana smells. The cop holds the can closer to her, she leans in puts her nose about 1 inch above the burning bud, closes one nostril with her finger and takes a giant nose hit from the cop.
It took the cop a few seconds to realize he had been had, his eyes got big and he jerks the can away and just glares at her. She just smiled and walked away.
I had to leave the sheriffs tent before I completely lost it.
That was the ballsyist things I ever saw.
Man I wished I would have gotten her number, she probably would have been a fun date.
As usual, the blog got too wordy so I chopped it up into 6 segments. Most of these things happened before we all started carrying cameras in our phones so these events just exist in my rapidly diminishing mind. Don't know if you will get a chuckle out of any of these little snippets.
It's probably one of those things where you just had to be there.
My Kinda Gal At The County Fair:
Johnson County fair, maybe late 70's. I was going through the Sheriff's exhibit, he had a coke can with a bud of pot on the top. He had it burning so people could smell it. Some girl in her early 20's walks up to the table the deputy was standing behind. She leans in as if she wants to find out how Marihuana smells. The cop holds the can closer to her, she leans in puts her nose about 1 inch above the burning bud, closes one nostril with her finger and takes a giant nose hit from the cop.
It took the cop a few seconds to realize he had been had, his eyes got big and he jerks the can away and just glares at her. She just smiled and walked away.
I had to leave the sheriffs tent before I completely lost it.
That was the ballsyist things I ever saw.
Man I wished I would have gotten her number, she probably would have been a fun date.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
DIET DAY THREE
Ok, Super Bowl over with, no more excuses, time to start the diet.
Monday, a granola bar for lunch and reprogrammed the digital scale for my new goal. Low fat ham samich for dinner and I feel pretty damned special.
Tuesday: a tech meeting first thing in the morning. I know there will be donuts in the area, for this is a tech meeting.
I take my seat, I know those glorious pastry temptations are on a table right behind me, but I will not look at them.
But I can smell them, brother tech Mike sits down next to me, against my better judgment I look over to see his selection. A luscious cinnamon bun. Arrrrrg!!! Excellent choice!! My stomach groans in protest, it does not understand I'm doing this for its own good. I can no longer stand by and watch it being made fun of for its girth.
Tuesday: a tech meeting first thing in the morning. I know there will be donuts in the area, for this is a tech meeting.
I take my seat, I know those glorious pastry temptations are on a table right behind me, but I will not look at them.
But I can smell them, brother tech Mike sits down next to me, against my better judgment I look over to see his selection. A luscious cinnamon bun. Arrrrrg!!! Excellent choice!! My stomach groans in protest, it does not understand I'm doing this for its own good. I can no longer stand by and watch it being made fun of for its girth.
The meeting begins without me turning around and succumbing to that yeasty temptation.
My manager walks over to the donut table and inquires "does anybody want any more donuts? If not I'm going to take the rest of these to the office and let them have them". No one speaks up no one raises a hand. My stomach attempts to raise its duodenal. Forget it stomach, this is for your own good. "eat shit and die" my stomach replies.
I made it through the meeting without bowing to the power of the glazed beauties. I know, I didn't cure cancer, but this is big. It was a tech meeting, I'm a tech. Technicians are like cops when it comes to donuts.
My manager walks over to the donut table and inquires "does anybody want any more donuts? If not I'm going to take the rest of these to the office and let them have them". No one speaks up no one raises a hand. My stomach attempts to raise its duodenal. Forget it stomach, this is for your own good. "eat shit and die" my stomach replies.
I made it through the meeting without bowing to the power of the glazed beauties. I know, I didn't cure cancer, but this is big. It was a tech meeting, I'm a tech. Technicians are like cops when it comes to donuts.
Wednesday: day three of the diet and I'm going strong. Tomorrow is Thursday and that's boys night out. That means pizza and beer. I think I will allow myself a couple of each as a reward.
I hate dieting but it is a needful thing at this point. The waistband of my work pants was getting dangerously tight.
The other day when I was getting ready for work, the button popped off my pants and went flying across the room.
If someone would have been right in front of it, it could have put an eye out, hmmm.............
I hate dieting but it is a needful thing at this point. The waistband of my work pants was getting dangerously tight.
The other day when I was getting ready for work, the button popped off my pants and went flying across the room.
If someone would have been right in front of it, it could have put an eye out, hmmm.............
Sorry, lost my train of thought there.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I HATE WHEN IM WRONG, EXCEPT THIS TIME
What a Super Bowl !
That was a better win for the Giants than last time. My prediction for a halftime show flop for Madonna was way off, I hate to admit it, but it was ok. The only negative was that asshole rapper who gave the crowd the finger.
That was a better win for the Giants than last time. My prediction for a halftime show flop for Madonna was way off, I hate to admit it, but it was ok. The only negative was that asshole rapper who gave the crowd the finger.
I hope they didn't have to pay much for that jackass. I guess when you're short on talent you have to do something to get attention. Madonna,the one I expected to pull a skank move was pretty decent. The worse thing she did was lip-syncing her act.
Anyway, great party at Rita's house with some great SB food and my grandson was there watching his first Super Bowl.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
YOU'RE DONE WITH ROLLER COASTERS
I really love roller coasters. I like the wooden ones the best and my favorite used to be The Beast, at Kings Island. Then I rode The Voyager at Holliday World, that ride smokes! I don't know if it qualifies as a true wooden coaster as it has wood rail supports on a steel frame.
I haven't been on any coaster wood or steel since the accident. I could have done it if I just had the torn rotator cuff, but the two ruptured discs in my neck were a deal breaker.
I haven't been on any coaster wood or steel since the accident. I could have done it if I just had the torn rotator cuff, but the two ruptured discs in my neck were a deal breaker.
A year after the rotator cuff surgery the surgeon cleared my to resume all my normal activities. Several months after my cervical spinal fusion surgery the surgeon who performed the surgery cleared me for most activities, except one.
The guy who slashed my throat and had a knife a fraction of an inch from my spinal cord said, "you're done with roller coasters". Damn! I really am going to miss that rush of adrenalin I always got from the highs and lows and break-neck speed of that ride.
When I heard the heartbreaking news of Peyton Manning’s injury and problems with his surgeries, (that was similar to mine, only my bone grafts fused after the first surgery), I didn't have much hope that he could or should play again.
The guy who slashed my throat and had a knife a fraction of an inch from my spinal cord said, "you're done with roller coasters". Damn! I really am going to miss that rush of adrenalin I always got from the highs and lows and break-neck speed of that ride.
When I heard the heartbreaking news of Peyton Manning’s injury and problems with his surgeries, (that was similar to mine, only my bone grafts fused after the first surgery), I didn't have much hope that he could or should play again.
I’m not even sure how long I can continue fixing people's shit and he wants to play a game that has 300 pound smashing machines who's one goal is to slam into him at full throttle.
The focus and attention of this years Super Bowl in my hometown has been split with the future of Peyton Manning.
No one player is bigger than the Super Bowl, but Peyton is pretty damned close this year. I like to listen to sports talk radio when I'm not listening to political talk radio.
A huge amount of the talk has been about the future of Peyton Manning instead of the Super Bowl. All the speculation as to what will happen with Peyton should have odds makers in Vegas trying to make book on it.
A huge amount of the talk has been about the future of Peyton Manning instead of the Super Bowl. All the speculation as to what will happen with Peyton should have odds makers in Vegas trying to make book on it.
I listened to Jim Irsay being interviewed on the Jim Rome show the other day. He said emphatically that he had not made up his mind on the matter yet, he also said no matter what he decided, he would be in a no win situation,
that last statement I do believe is true. No matter what Irsay does, there will be much Monday morning quarterbacking of that decision.
that last statement I do believe is true. No matter what Irsay does, there will be much Monday morning quarterbacking of that decision.
You can't even put into words what Peyton means to Indy, not only for his incredible talent, but also for the quality of his character.
I can understand him not wanting to hang up his cleats, he is the ultimate competitor.
The highs and lows of playing in front of tens of thousands of cheering fans and millions more on TV has made him an adrenalin junkie. He has been on a non-stop roller coaster ride for decades.
As depressing as not seeing number 18 on the field driving defenses crazy anymore, can you imagine seeing him lying on the field not able to move his arms and legs, or worse?
You've had a great ride Peyton, nothing will ever take that away. As much as we wanted to see you in a Colts uniform until you were ready for that rocking chair, I think more than a few of us are thinking......
You've had a great ride Peyton, nothing will ever take that away. As much as we wanted to see you in a Colts uniform until you were ready for that rocking chair, I think more than a few of us are thinking......
Stay down Peyton, stay down.
Stay off the roller coaster.
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