CHRISTMAS AT THE CASINO

An odd place to spend Christmas morning. Having retrieved my sons car that broke down at the Christmas party last night, we still managed to sneak in the 15 minute drive to Indiana Live casino with mom. We have the kids coming over later for another Christmas get together. This is the one where me and Jojo will actually be at the same place. Christmas with a blended family can get complicated. Monday we will have our last one, that is a get together with friends of Jojo who are like family and our little buddy Gavin will be there.
The plan for today was, I was going to make a lasagna for Christmas dinner, but with all the complications with the dead car retrieval, I think we're going to scratch that idea and go with leftover pizza. Tomorrow I'm making a double batch of chili for the party then I'm done!
I still have much logistical crap to work out with the busted car, make that cars. Him and his live-in both have car issues, that leaves them with none, check that. That leaves me down one car because I had to loan him mine.
Tomorrow I will see what I can do to get at least one car going, it just needs a battery, the other needs an alternator.
I was a little bummed that things didn't turn out exactly as planned this Christmas then I started thinking about families that are dealing with tragedies like the people that lost 5 members of their family due to a fire Christmas morning.
Things like that tend to make me feel like a jerk for sweating the small stuff.

Lost my limit in the slots, was going to have a drink at the bar area but it's closed down for the holiday, rats!
Oh well, guess I'll survive

LAYAWAY ANGELS AND TENNIS SHOE RIOTERS

The best and the worst among us make up these two Christmas stories this year. First of all, I don’t understand how anyone pays 180 bucks for a pair of stupid shoes. Then tell me how do you stomp on each other in order to gain a position or two to get in the store to buy these over-priced shoes. I saw video of little kids being pushed to the floor and trampled with no one even trying to help. That might have slowed down their progress to the ultimate in footwear.

The last time these Air-Jordans were released, kids were shot down like dogs and their shoes stolen off their feet.

The flipside, the Layaway Angels. There are no videos of the actual people paying off the layaways of complete strangers in need. They are doing the right thing for the right reason and they have no desire for media attention.

That’s the story I want to wash my brain out with this Christmas Eve.

There will always be the greedy self-serving Grinch crowd and it’s not likely there hearts will grow anytime soon.

Thank God we still have many good people on this Earth to counter balance these fools.

I’m sitting here with my grandson Trenton, he got to stay all night with papaw and mamaw last night. We decided to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas this morning.

Even an old grandpa like me gets a nice feeling watching this show.

I just wanted to take a few minutes this morning and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and if the stories of tennis shoe riots and such bring you down, balance it out with a healthy dose of A Charlie Brown Christmas, or It’s a Wonderful Life, or A Christmas Story.

God bless you all and have a very merry Christmas!

YOU GOT YOUR SHIRT ON INSIDE OUT

Had to make a trip to downtown Indy today, Jojo had to go to the police station to apply for her lifetime handgun permit. She had told me that she wanted me to take her to Palatino's for lunch. It's kind of an overpriced fancy place that won't sell you a damned hamburger. With that in mind I wore a nice shirt. Halfway though lunch Jojo gives me that look and says "you got your shirt on inside out". I look down at me, sure enough the pocket was missing as was the buttons on the button up collar. There were seams visible on each arm running from the cuffs to the shoulders. I sheepishly put my jacket back on leaving only the outline of the invisible pocket and missing buttons showing.  
I want to know why I was allowed to walk out of the house in this condition? Jojo has been my fashion consultant for many 
years now. How could she have committed such an oversight? She took on the job of telling me that shit doesn't match, of her own volition. How can I trust her to stop me from leaving the house with my underwear on my head now? 

BOO !

You know my jobs does have its drawbacks, but it also has its perks too. One of the perks, not having to sit in one place all day. Driving around all day sometimes means you can stop by the house to take a break. Today my house was between my first and second call so I figured I would take my first break there and see if Jojo was up and working in the home office.
She's really got a great set up there.
I pull in the driveway, it's a gloomy foggy morning and I can see the office brightly light as I drive by the window.
She is facing the window, but she is looking down at some reports, perfect! I walk up to the window, turn my cap around and put my face up to the window and tap slightly.
She looks up and I get just the reaction I'm hoping for. A sustained loud scream complete with hands up by the face shaking madly like some woman over-acting in an old horror movie.
This woman is not acting, I got her good. I know there will be hell to pay for this little stunt as I walk into the house laughing and kicking myself for not taking video of the event.
Now before you think me a bad person or immature, you must understand this is how the game is played.
Whenever I walk through a door in my house I never know when she will be lurking in a dark corner waiting to jump out and try to give me a heart attack, matter of fact it was she that started this quirky tradition almost 10 years ago on our second date. What pisses her off is I'm much better at this game then she is. I can do a payback scare in a matter of just a few minutes. A couple of weeks ago late one night I walked through the garage door into the breezeway and she was crouched behind the door and launched at me.
She got me but it wasn't an epic scare.
Five minutes later as she is still delighting in her little stunt, she walks to the back end of the house for a few minutes, I see my chance for payback!
I slipped down the dark hallway and open the door to the guest bedroom. I closed the door all but just a crack, just enough to peer one eye down the hall. I stand there in the bedroom that you rarely expect a person to walk out of, a perfect scenario. 
A few minutes later she walks out of our bedroom and down the hall. I wait, timing is everything, these things must be done delicately. She gets to the door of my chamber of horrors and I open the door swiftly and stepped out of the darkness right in front of her. No need for me to scream, that would be overkill and unnecessary. Her reaction was worth the price of admission.
Now that Jojo is packing heat I will have to be a little more careful with my timing. She will have a good excuse if she ever decides to whack me.

THE ART OF THE DEAL

Saturday mornings mission: get to the store and spend too much money on dry goods and victuals or "vittles" as Granny used to call them on the show.
I really don't mind doing most of the shopping, I do most of the cooking so the two kind of go together. I have my own little ritual as far as the shopping list goes. If I need more than 3 things I better write it down. Writes a misnomer, I actually do a memo on my IPhone.

Plan was on Sunday I'm making a birthday dinner for my son. So that was the main focus of the shopping. I asked Jojo if there was anything she needed or we needed for the homestead and she couldn't think of anything so with my IPhone list complete I headed out.
I took her car, a 10 year old Lexus but still fun to drive and my Jimmy is not running too great. I look at the gas gauge and of course she's out of gas again. She has some newfound aversion to gas stations. She just goes from one vehicle to another depending on which one has gas in it. Thankfully she is getting a company car by the end of the month so she will has to take care of her own fill-ups.

Phone rings halfway to Meijers, you know who decided there were indeed things she needed at the store, she was going to COOK ! The count got up to 5 and I'm thinking I need to get the IPhone out and update my shopping list, I know it's illegal to drive and text but they didn't say anything about updating shopping lists. That's a little too unsafe so I try the mnemonic system. Let's see, she wants cream cheese, sour cream, cream of chicken, tortilla's and trash bags. Uhhhhhh........ I got nothin.

By the time I got to Meijers I could only remember 4 out of the 5 things.
Shopping done, headed home, got lots to do today, our plans were to get our nasty house cleaned up and go gun shopping for Jojo's Christmas present. As soon as I walk in the door she is standing there her lips puckered out and looking really cute. "Can I ask you a big favor?"

Oh shit, I know what this is about. "What?", I say in that tone. "Will you go to CVS and get me something?" I know what she wants, I know what she needs. Her damn Misty Menthol coffin nails.
Never mind how aggravated I was about her timing. I could tell by the look in her eyes, she had gone too long without a fix. She was jonesing for a smoke, so I did what every husband does, I played my hand. I rubbed my hands together and said to myself in my best guttural evil villain voice, "heh heh heh heh excellent!"

Let the negotiations begin, I parlayed my advantage just as any old pervert would.
Later we made the drive to Plainfield and got Jojo's Christmas present.

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't show her how to load it till tomorrow morning. Heh heh heh heh.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT !

You can be too careful part #2

I wasn't with him when it happened. It doesn't count unless I'm in the truck with him.
We were light on calls Thursday and Friday so they had me and brother tech Mike ride together. I drove yesterday without incident and Mike drove today. The day went fine, I even scored some free Pacer's tix for the game tonight night. We were working on a customer’s fridge and she was the mother of a Pacemate. She called her daughter and had her leave me and Jojo tix. When we got to the game we found Tamara with other Pacemates signing pictures. I thank her for the tix and got a picture of my mug tween her and another Pacemate.

So you see my day was fine!
It was tragedy free.

However while getting ready for the game I got a call from  Mike. Seems his day didn't end so well. After he dropped me off and was heading for home some guy ran his car into Mikes service van. Seems Mike was being extra cautious in a heavy traffic area where cars do a squeeze play vying for one lane. He was hanging back from the car ahead of him and someone trying to shoot the gap sideswiped him.
He was starting his vacation today and had hoped to finish early. The crap you have to go through when you wreck a company vehicle is worse than the wreck.

He was still dealing with it by the time I got to the game.
So I'm at a free game surrounded by Pacemates and Mikey is on the side of road filing accident reports.
Rita texted me while I was watching the game and accused me of leaving that target that was on my back in Mike's van.

I will neither confirm nor deny that report, I will only say,

Sorry bro ! Sorry about your luck.

YOU CAN BE TOO CAREFUL !

I was preparing to turn in my customer’s driveway. A blue car was cresting the hill coming in the opposite direction. I stopped and waited for the car to pass then I pulled into the driveway. Then I heard what sounded like an explosion.
The first thing I thought was "damn my mini drawer must have fallen out and dumped in the back of the truck again. Then I thought no that sounds much more violent.
There had been some linemen trucks parked on the side of the road just before and just after the customers drive and a bunch of the linemen were standing between their trucks and the road. I wondered if maybe something had happened to one of the trucks.
I looked to my left side and saw this.

WTF?  How did that happen?? Did I cause this??
I couldn't figure out how a head on collision involving three vehicles happened right next to me and I missed the whole thing.
I got out of the truck and along with the lineman went to assist. I looked between the trucks and the wreck to see if there were any dead lineman lying on the ground.
They had just been standing right there between the trucks and the wreck.
Thank God they had been able avoid getting smashed in the space between all the vehicles. 

 I started getting that feeling again, the same feeling I had when me and Jojo almost got killed on that bridge in Kentucky last year . Kind of an itchy uncomfortable feeling that feels like its coming from the inside of your body.
The first time I remember having that feeling was when my daughter was maybe 2 or 3 and almost drowned in a friend’s pool.
It’s a feeling I get when fate and chance nearly intersect and I  avoid something tragic by the narrowest of margins.

There was plenty of help on hand and doors were opened but victims where wisely left in place.
Then came the fire trucks, ambulances and cops, I milled around talking to witnesses trying to piece together what had happened.

Talking to a man who was following his wife in another vehicle I was told his wife had stopped behind me as I waited for the blue car to pass. A pickup truck behind her was going too fast on the wet road and swerved into the opposite lane hitting the back of the  wife’s vehicle in the process, then he hit the blue car head on that had just gone by me.

I kind of wandered around waiting to see if the cops wanted a statement from me. I just kept thinking about the last time my service van and me were this close to first responders, a year and a half ago when my wreck happened. Then I was wondering if my neck was broken.
It was only my third day back to work when that happened having been off for 6 months from knee surgery.
After that wreck and 4 operations and months of rehab I have been back on the road since last July 25th.
I have slowed down a lot since all that happened, I'm the new and improved more safety minded CnC.
I have been extra careful when it comes to what expect from other drivers on road and try to anticipate other people’s bad decisions as well as my own.
I have grandkids to spoil and a wife to aggravate. I know I have to be more careful these days and that is why I caused this accident today.

After today’s wreck the ifs began, I was trying to reconstruct the events that lead up to what could have been a tragic day for the linemen, the people in the wrecked vehicles and me
The first time I approached the customers driveway the mailbox was not visible because of the two big trucks parked on the side of the road on either side of the drive. By the time I could see the address I was too close to make what the new improved and safer CnC considered a safe maneuver to get in the drive. So I continued about down the road found a place to turn around and headed back to the call.
A couple of blocks down the road I again approached the driveway that was sandwiched between the two big trucks and the linemen milling around. My approach was nice and slow and safe, then I looked up the road and saw a blue car was coming the opposite direction. I again had to make another choice.
I could have done a little less braking and turn into the drive without stopping and made the turn in front of the approaching car. I would have had time but it might look to observers that I had been just a little too impatient. So I made the
safe decision that the new and improved more careful CnC makes these days.

I came to a safe stop and waited for the blue car to pass.
The truck behind me came to a safe stop.
Apparently the truck behind that truck didn't get the memo about the new and improved safety minded CnC and was going way too fast to stop on the wet road in time. He had 3 options, none of them good. He could have veered off the road and took the ditch. The ditch was about 8 feet deep with steep banks and lots of trees. I think he probably ruled out option number: 1 right away. Option number: 2 was to continue braking and slam into the truck that was stopped right behind me. That would have been the best option or the least bad. There were 3 or 4 people in his truck so he had a lot to consider.
He took option number: 3 the worst option, he swerved around the trunk in front of him and clipped the back of it. Then he was in the opposing lane heading right for the guys standing by their trucks and the blue car that I was waiting on.

As I started my turn that's when head on collision took place gathering the other pickup in the wreck hitting it for the second time.
They took 4 people away in ambulances but I don't believe any of them were critical, it looked like seat-belts and airbags ruled the day
I spent about 30 minutes walking around the carnage and decided my services were needed elsewhere so I drove up the driveway and got back to business. Luckily it was a non-thinking repair as I spent the next several minutes contemplating what had just happened and what my part was in it.

It's strange when you reconstruct an accident and think about all the little tiny things that have to happen in just the right way at just the right time, unconnected little inconsequential things that happen in a string of events that end in a very bad result.
The irony of this whole thing was the two decisions that I made, at the time seemed to be the safest choices.

They say you can't be too careful.

Uhhhh yeah you can, twice !